you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
