She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My liver just had a heart attack.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
