is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
