airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
