drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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