Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
