There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
