Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
