i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Come on in and take your pants off
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