I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
