i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pants are for mortals
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
