I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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