we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We are two peas in an std pod
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
