Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
