So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
