Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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