did you get engaged???
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
