I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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