Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
