then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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