just tell him i said nine months
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
