Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
