i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
