I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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