Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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