to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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