Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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