i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
