I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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