She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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