Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
