he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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