4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i jhust puked up my retainher.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
