I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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