chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
