I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
