We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
