Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
