allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
