apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
