'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
