Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
