hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
