Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
