Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
