And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
