Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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