I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did i walk over a car last night?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
