Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
