How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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