im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I skipped work to stalk him.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
