Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
false alarm. still invincible.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
